Fervour: Songs from Heartbeat, the movie

by Tanya Davis

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Lynne Marie
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Lynne Marie Lovely album, because, you know, our imperfect hearts are still lovable. We are all looking for that. And when you are really searching for meaning in loss and loneliness then listen to these songs and feel connected to that universal longing. And it will soothe you. Thank you Tanya! Favorite track: All I Really Want.
Ava Winter
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Ava Winter This album touched me profoundly. I knew from the moment i saw the trailer for heart beat that i had to see the films, and after doing so i knew i needed to buy the album. I'm learning guitar now, and i hope to one day be able to play like Tanya. Favorite track: All I Really Want.
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1.
Fervour 03:14
Oh, fervour, you're a low burning fire I got cold beside you got to stoke you higher 'til you throw a guiding light Oh, comfort, you're a joker I fell for I've been warned by the closed up ones to stay quiet and still stay safe and comfortable All of the courage, all the mustering it up how is it hard to have given the yearning for the purpose and love why not go for it All of the searching I've supposedly done and still my fire goes low all of the fervour, all the stoking it up it seeks my soul Oh, morning, you are glory, burning for me every rise could be guiding fire have my fear and my noise I'm here to stoke you higher
2.
Spiderwebs 03:23
Silver strands in my hair like linings that never made it to the sky or else spiderwebs and I was hoping to catch you with a glint from either of them without trying too hard desperation is unattractive and I don't want to repel you I don't want to My hands are fitful and timid my limbs are limp, out of practice under what conditions will I have my hands on your back as you pin me down and I hold you up we make sounds that sound like love Under the moon we will meet Under the moon we will meet our slick bodies, knowing beaks and then, calmly, I will lay down my burden, my search for a mate 'cause once two loons meet so sealed is fate never again a lonely day a solo bird upon the lake We will meet upon the plains, under bright sun the grasses stained our haunches muscled from walking the days you will saunter softly golden, messy mane you will come close but holding a firm gaze a wild play drive me crazy we shall pursue ourselves while the light gets hazy I am neither lion nor loon you can see this about me but human love has so often tiptoed around me even when I thought it had found me besides, these metaphors don't fool are we not also animals, too
3.
Dancer 04:10
when all of the people and all of the rhythm come together to make space on the dance floor so we can dance towards each other you're a force that I want to join forces with to see how our limbs and our dance moves fit what I found was the rhythm we fell in was easy and strong what I found was the curve of your neck led to your collarbone what I found was your hand on my hip, gripped me firm like it belonged and oh, how the cage for your ribs felt beneath my palm oh, hands in the air oh, dancer's flair oh, your posture, your hair how you moved me, how we moved there and then in your bedroom with all of our clothes left on and then when we fell into place with the daylight on and then all the looks on your face - beguiling and wild and coy you play your eyes meet mine and my being quakes let's take another dance floor, more bass and more animal let's shake like we're made for, let's take down the mantle let's spin and let's see what we're in for; i'll take the dark if you're the candle let sparks fly, let arms tangle let sparks fly...
4.
How hard is it to listen to our indecision hearts hard of hearing Do the stars say we're not destined so this connection is a dying fire This here wasn't my picture all alone for my dinner still no ring for my finger don't know what comes after Thought we had the answer life is hard, so go find a partner don't go far from them 'cause alone it's harder but what when the dying embers warm us no longer do we turn towards the darkness and burn brighter each our own fire.
5.
Maybe you don't think I am lonely when you see me at the movies Friday night but back at my house, all of the lights out no one at the door waiting for my kisses and we all clapped along, when the credits came on I was warmed up for a minute like we are all one world and I am in it but then back at my place, broken rads, no love is made here I am a faithful novice I'm dreading vows while praying on them I accept my loneliness like a trade I made with truth it said take this quiet what lies inside it is a gift I made for you I have been figuring out what it's all about connect with me, see me, love me, now I will see you, love you, connect to you somewhere So I reach out my hands nobody is grabbing them I try, I cry, I dry my eyes I sigh, I rise, I find I'm fine 'Cause if I reject this loneliness then the trade I made with truth with crack and crumble and all my trembles will be of no use All I really want is to love and be loved why else would I be here, for what greater purpose so I reach out my hands and hope someone takes them
6.
the space i stare off into is having phantom pain is calling for your face but i don't want to put you there i've saved long a spot for you but daydreams stand to change so change can stand a chance may i breathe its air the dance we been dancing is fairly tired unaware and uninspired how did we get here hands grab familiar holds and we hold old stories so i coax you torwards me for reasons no longer clear if we stop here, like our season has changed the leaves all fall, we also fade what have we made, besides an ending no baby, no legend the plot we been following doesn't always go how it's often told whole stories dropped and closed the thoughts we been honouring are on a roll we are on a ride forgoing hearts for minds all this time, i been saving the space saying the lines, got daydreams to chase and your face has been my safety our fear to change has been our baby let's say we let go gently i can love you, but you cannot save me
7.
you said would you write a story about me what're you gonna tell them, what're you gonna say i said, baby i would write a novel probably i have that many words, you did that many things to me how do i organize such a feat just put my pen down, start writing you been in my head now so much for so long i could tell a happy story, i'm gonna sing some sad songs you are a muse, i am the person who muses you're a tale worth telling, i'm the person to use it you were my love, you held my heart up, you fueled it now i'm just a writer again to be fueled on my own i have written stories for ya before but i was hesitant to end 'em then as i have been hesitant to admit this is over i will write more did you know i picked my pen back up, remembered what i was here for how is it that in that love with my heart so happy my words dried up couldn't i have had both of us you gave me a lot but i gave me a little, i relied on you, you the bow to my fiddle still my strings they did not sing that much you were a beacon and i was a ship seeking shoreline and i made it safely thanks to the safety of your light but just like a seaman, i had to be leaving your side and like every lighthouse should, you still shine and like every writer would, i will still write
8.
Oh, heart beating calmly in your cage where nothing can upset you, rouse your pace and the steady rhythm says you're steady livin' staying safe, but if you're tame, like a kept beast how voracious can your heart beat? One day, life startles you awake rattles you, unsettles you tempts you from your cage will you look, then, bravely, to the door even though afraid, would you make a move towards it? life is knocking come on out, it's calling you forward You will strength to come but weakness comes before it do you seek aid and counsel then, reaching for a cure? doctors do as doctors do what malaise would they construe only you can know for sure besides, definitions do not make for truer living and easy times hearts need to work, like any muscle, else they run the risk of flatline As beats go by, after reaching past the ceiling of your safety once defined after embracing new views to woo truth from new sides after crashing from feelings that moved you to wide eyes what are you going to do? how will you decide? there is comfort in security that comes with steady rhythm once there is uncertainty there comes riskier living will you return to safety or make no decision doing nothing is easy or is it? Now that you are beating fierce and energetic and the feelings flow freely, and the colours more vivid life will give you meaning, the more sincere you live it and the rythym, ever-changing, will cradle you within in.
9.
Whose Book 03:44
Whose rule book you gonna read, when you going to look? And whose knowing looks did you believe, no matter what they took? Whose.. Whose trusted counsel do you use when it's all unraveled? And whose handshake gentle do you fuse with your own soul's tendrils? And whose holy book causes you to tremble, tremble, tremble? And whose world have you shook, on the grasses by the temple you caused them to tremble Whose.. Whose words and phrases do you hear when chaos is reigning? And whose thoughtful questions do you entertain and how do you answer them? Is it with all of the honesty you have; is it with some of the honesty you have Is it with some of the honest you have; is it with all of the honest you have Who you want at your table, in your corner, to share the joy there? And who listens to your stories, to your sorrows, to your heartbeats? Answer this with all of the honest you have; it deserves all of the honesty you have.
10.
The clock is gonna turn back soon the season is already changing we said goodbye for the final time and my rom needs rearranging the sidewalk is full of people and leaves and we're all turning colors i want more radiance and less green this season is my perfect lover long nights for more dreaming short days to fill real and fast sweaters for my heart's safe-keeping, for my soul's heating, through the cold of winter to last the clock is gonna turn back soon i've an eye upon its fixtures the wall waits patiently for the sun's first rays and the day no one's there to witness we gave it a good go no i guess we can't exist in this so i'm gonna celebrate this new year with all the good witches little chocolate bars are for little kids i want a cauldron and the nourishment that comes with it this broke me down, no i am not fixed yet i broke myself open for this made a space that you could fit in clocks and hearts and time keep going but we didn't the clock tick tocks and i walk alone like i am used to i wanted to call your bones home but i didn't get to your shoulder a stop over and i guess i had to i was lonely from no love and you showed me what it could do you showed me what i would do when i had some but it is not to be with you and i've been sad enough and i've been mad some but what good does that do the leaves are not upset that they're leaving their branches things change time passes death happens and what happened surely changed me and the hereafter is full of sadness that is raw and oh so sweet because every time a cold heart thaws it sends a river of tears to nourish the ground on the way to the sea i bow my head to praise and remember this look up again to greet my days this is a eulogy for you and me i won't forget but will let go of this just the same

about

This album is a collection of songs from the film 'Heartbeat', by Andrea Dorfman, in which I played the leading role, a young-ish woman named Justine. It was my first time film acting. It was amazing and vulnerable-making and scary. I learned so much. I felt so much. It is a music movie and I had a stellar time recording new tunes for it. Some songs have been released on previous albums, some were written especially for this film, its scenes. A great deal of it was recorded with the lovely and talented Charles Austin, in Halifax NS. Hope you enjoy.

credits

released August 30, 2014

Recorded and mixed by Charles Austin at Echo Chamber Audio in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Additional recording and mixing by Benn Ross in Halifax and Jim Bryson/ Dave Draves in Ottawa, Ontario.
Mastered by J. LaPointe at Archive Studios.
Additional mastering by John Parker and Ryan Morey.

The players:
Charles Austin: bass, guitar, drums, percussion, loops, other weird things, voice
Tanya Davis: guitar, piano, percussion, marimba, bass, organ, keyboards, voice
Benn Ross: drums, percussion
Seamus Erskine: drums, percussion
John Spearns: cello
Serge Sampson: bass
Stewart Legere: trumpet, voice
Rose Cousins, Don Brownrigg, Cléo Burke, Tim Crabtree, Margot Durling: voice

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Tanya Davis Mount Stewart, Prince Edward Island

Tanya Davis is a writer and artist living on Epekwitk / Prince Edward Island. She writes poems, songs, monologues, and speeches and loves collaborative projects.

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