Fervour: Songs from Heartbeat, the movie

by Tanya Davis

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This album is a collection of songs from the film 'Heartbeat', by Andrea Dorfman, in which I played the leading role, a young-ish woman named Justine. It was my first time film acting. It was amazing and vulnerable-making and scary. I learned so much. I felt so much. It is a music movie and I had a stellar time recording new tunes for it. Some songs have been released on previous albums, some were written especially for this film, its scenes. A great deal of it was recorded with the lovely and talented Charles Austin, in Halifax NS. Hope you enjoy.


released August 30, 2014

Recorded and mixed by Charles Austin at Echo Chamber Audio in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Additional recording and mixing by Benn Ross in Halifax and Jim Bryson/ Dave Draves in Ottawa, Ontario.
Mastered by J. LaPointe at Archive Studios.
Additional mastering by John Parker and Ryan Morey.

The players:
Charles Austin: bass, guitar, drums, percussion, loops, other weird things, voice
Tanya Davis: guitar, piano, percussion, marimba, bass, organ, keyboards, voice
Benn Ross: drums, percussion
Seamus Erskine: drums, percussion
John Spearns: cello
Serge Sampson: bass
Stewart Legere: trumpet, voice
Rose Cousins, Don Brownrigg, Cléo Burke, Tim Crabtree, Margot Durling: voice



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Tanya Davis Halifax, Nova Scotia

Tanya Davis is a poet writer artist type living in Halifax, NS. She tends to put words at the centre of her work, be it music or performance, and is happy to be somewhat of a chameleon, ever exploring new artistic ideas and projects. She is currently learning how to make new sounds while writing new songs, poems, and theatrical shows. She takes commissions and gives poetic speeches sometime, too. ... more

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Track Name: Fervour
Oh, fervour, you're a low burning fire
I got cold beside you
got to stoke you higher
'til you throw a guiding light

Oh, comfort, you're a joker I fell for
I've been warned by the closed up ones
to stay quiet and still
stay safe and comfortable

All of the courage, all the mustering it up
how is it hard to have
given the yearning for the purpose and love
why not go for it

All of the searching I've supposedly done
and still my fire goes low
all of the fervour, all the stoking it up
it seeks my soul

Oh, morning, you are glory, burning for me
every rise could be guiding fire
have my fear and my noise
I'm here to stoke you higher
Track Name: Charles Austin, Graeme Campbell, Tanya Davis - Spiderwebs
Silver strands in my hair
like linings that never made it to the sky
or else spiderwebs
and I was hoping to catch you
with a glint from either of them
without trying too hard
desperation is unattractive
and I don't want to repel you
I don't want to

My hands are fitful and timid
my limbs are limp, out of practice
under what conditions will I have my hands on your back
as you pin me down
and I hold you up
we make sounds that sound like love

Under the moon we will meet
Under the moon we will meet
our slick bodies, knowing beaks
and then, calmly, I will lay down my burden, my search for a mate
'cause once two loons meet so sealed is fate
never again a lonely day
a solo bird upon the lake

We will meet upon the plains, under bright sun
the grasses stained
our haunches muscled from walking the days
you will saunter softly
golden, messy mane
you will come close but holding a firm gaze
a wild play
drive me crazy
we shall pursue ourselves while the light gets hazy

I am neither lion nor loon
you can see this about me
but human love has so often tiptoed around me
even when I thought it had found me
besides, these metaphors don't fool
are we not also animals, too
Track Name: Dancer
when all of the people and all of the rhythm come together
to make space on the dance floor so we can dance towards each other
you're a force that I want to join forces with
to see how our limbs and our dance moves fit

what I found was the rhythm we fell in was easy and strong
what I found was the curve of your neck led to your collarbone
what I found was your hand on my hip, gripped me firm like it belonged
and oh, how the cage for your ribs felt beneath my palm

oh, hands in the air
oh, dancer's flair
oh, your posture, your hair
how you moved me, how we moved there

and then in your bedroom with all of our clothes left on
and then when we fell into place with the daylight on
and then all the looks on your face - beguiling and wild and coy you play
your eyes meet mine and my being quakes

let's take another dance floor, more bass and more animal
let's shake like we're made for, let's take down the mantle
let's spin and let's see what we're in for; i'll take the dark if you're the candle
let sparks fly, let arms tangle
let sparks fly...
Track Name: Our Indecision
How hard is it to listen
to our indecision
hearts hard of hearing

Do the stars say we're not destined
so this connection
is a dying fire

This here wasn't my picture
all alone for my dinner
still no ring for my finger
don't know what comes after

Thought we had the answer
life is hard, so go find a partner
don't go far from them 'cause alone it's harder
but what when the dying embers warm us no longer
do we turn towards the darkness
and burn brighter
each our own fire.
Track Name: All I Really Want
Maybe you don't think I am lonely
when you see me
at the movies Friday night but

back at my house, all of the lights out
no one at the door
waiting for my kisses and

we all clapped along, when the credits came on
I was warmed up for a minute
like we are all one world and I am in it but then

back at my place, broken rads, no love is made
here I am a faithful novice
I'm dreading vows while praying on them

I accept my loneliness like a trade I made with truth
it said take this quiet
what lies inside it
is a gift I made for you

I have been figuring out
what it's all about
connect with me, see me, love me, now
I will see you, love you, connect to you somewhere

So I reach out my hands
nobody is grabbing them
I try, I cry, I dry my eyes
I sigh, I rise, I find I'm fine

'Cause if I reject this loneliness then the trade I made with truth
with crack and crumble and all my trembles will be of no use

All I really want is to love and be loved
why else would I be here, for what greater purpose
so I reach out my hands and hope someone takes them
Track Name: Space I Stare Off Into
the space i stare off into is having phantom pain
is calling for your face
but i don't want to put you there

i've saved long a spot for you but daydreams stand to change
so change can stand a chance
may i breathe its air

the dance we been dancing is fairly tired
unaware and uninspired
how did we get here

hands grab familiar holds and we hold old stories
so i coax you torwards me
for reasons no longer clear

if we stop here, like our season has changed
the leaves all fall, we also fade
what have we made, besides an ending
no baby, no legend

the plot we been following doesn't always go
how it's often told
whole stories dropped and closed

the thoughts we been honouring are on a roll
we are on a ride
forgoing hearts for minds

all this time, i been saving the space
saying the lines, got daydreams to chase
and your face has been my safety
our fear to change has been our baby
let's say we let go gently
i can love you, but you cannot save me
Track Name: Bow To My Fiddle
you said would you write a story about me
what're you gonna tell them, what're you gonna say
i said, baby i would write a novel probably
i have that many words, you did that many things to me

how do i organize such a feat
just put my pen down, start writing
you been in my head now so much for so long
i could tell a happy story, i'm gonna sing some sad songs

you are a muse, i am the person who muses
you're a tale worth telling, i'm the person to use it
you were my love, you held my heart up, you fueled it
now i'm just a writer again to be fueled on my own

i have written stories for ya before
but i was hesitant to end 'em then as i have been hesitant to admit this is over
i will write more
did you know i picked my pen back up, remembered what i was here for

how is it that in that love with my heart so happy my words dried up
couldn't i have had both of us
you gave me a lot but i gave me a little, i relied on you, you the bow to my fiddle
still my strings they did not sing that much

you were a beacon and i was a ship seeking shoreline
and i made it safely thanks to the safety of your light
but just like a seaman, i had to be leaving your side
and like every lighthouse should, you still shine
and like every writer would, i will still write
Track Name: As Beats Go By
Oh, heart
beating calmly in your cage
where nothing can upset you, rouse your pace
and the steady rhythm
says you're steady livin'
staying safe,
but if you're tame, like a kept beast
how voracious can your heart beat?

One day, life startles you awake
rattles you, unsettles you
tempts you from your cage
will you look, then, bravely, to the door
even though afraid, would you make a move towards it?
life is knocking
come on out, it's calling you forward

You will strength to come but weakness comes before it
do you seek aid and counsel then, reaching for a cure?
doctors do as doctors do
what malaise would they construe
only you can know for sure
besides, definitions do not make for truer living and easy times
hearts need to work, like any muscle,
else they run the risk of flatline

As beats go by, after reaching past the ceiling of your safety once defined
after embracing new views to woo truth from new sides
after crashing from feelings that moved you to wide eyes
what are you going to do?
how will you decide?
there is comfort in security that comes with steady rhythm
once there is uncertainty there comes riskier living
will you return to safety or make no decision
doing nothing is easy
or is it?

Now that you are beating fierce and energetic
and the feelings flow freely, and the colours more vivid
life will give you meaning, the more sincere you live it
and the rythym, ever-changing, will cradle you within in.
Track Name: Whose Book
Whose rule book you gonna read, when you going to look?
And whose knowing looks did you believe, no matter what they took?

Whose trusted counsel do you use when it's all unraveled?
And whose handshake gentle do you fuse with your own soul's tendrils?
And whose holy book causes you to tremble, tremble, tremble?
And whose world have you shook, on the grasses by the temple you caused them to tremble

Whose words and phrases do you hear when chaos is reigning?
And whose thoughtful questions do you entertain and how do you answer them?
Is it with all of the honesty you have; is it with some of the honesty you have
Is it with some of the honest you have; is it with all of the honest you have

Who you want at your table, in your corner, to share the joy there?
And who listens to your stories, to your sorrows, to your heartbeats?
Answer this with all of the honest you have; it deserves all of the honesty you have.
Track Name: Eulogy For You And Me
The clock is gonna turn back soon the season is already changing
we said goodbye for the final time and my rom needs rearranging
the sidewalk is full of people and leaves and we're all turning colors
i want more radiance and less green this season is my perfect lover
long nights for more dreaming short days to fill real and fast
sweaters for my heart's safe-keeping, for my soul's heating, through the cold of winter to last

the clock is gonna turn back soon i've an eye upon its fixtures
the wall waits patiently for the sun's first rays and the day no one's there to witness
we gave it a good go no i guess we can't exist in this
so i'm gonna celebrate this new year with all the good witches
little chocolate bars are for little kids
i want a cauldron and the nourishment that comes with it
this broke me down, no i am not fixed yet
i broke myself open for this made a space that you could fit in
clocks and hearts and time keep going but we didn't

the clock tick tocks and i walk alone like i am used to
i wanted to call your bones home but i didn't get to
your shoulder a stop over and i guess i had to
i was lonely from no love and you showed me what it could do
you showed me what i would do when i had some but it is not to be with you
and i've been sad enough and i've been mad some but what good does that do
the leaves are not upset that they're leaving their branches
things change time passes death happens

and what happened surely changed me
and the hereafter is full of sadness that is raw and oh so sweet
because every time a cold heart thaws it sends a river of tears to nourish the ground
on the way to the sea

i bow my head to praise and remember this
look up again to greet my days
this is a eulogy for you and me i won't forget
but will let go of this just the same